Hello and welcome. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for tuning in to Leadership Is Feminine Podcast. This is Kris Plachy. Let's get started.

Hi. Hi. How are you? So, last week on the podcast I talked about taking a detox, like doing a detox summer of all the things that are stealing your focus, stealing your joy, maybe on autopilot and you realize now they no longer add the value that you wanted them to, to either your life or your business. And I'm gonna be unpacking a lot more of that over on the private podcast that I just launched called the Moxi Sage. So I really wanna invite you to go over there. Try it out.

If you'd like, you can do the unpaid subscription. That doesn't include the private podcast. If you wanna do the private podcast, you can do the paid subscription. It's very minimal and it will be like having in - depth conversations and coaching with me on topics that I think take us in a direction that really will move the needle for you, and I'm really enjoying it.

So the private podcast, I'm calling my walking retreat. I go on walks, I have things I wanna share, I have conversations, I have with friends, all those things, and I wanna share that back with you. Some of those podcasts, I'm actually on the walk and many of them I won't be, but I'm gonna be doing that over the summer. And I really wanna invite you to pop over there and be a part of that conversation.

So, I'm extending that into the toxic detox I guess, of things that I know are limiting and harnessing your ability to advance whatever it is that you say that you want. Let's go through that and let's unpack that and figure that out together. So please head over to thevisionary.ceo/moxi and you can see all the things there.

So for today though, I wanna talk to you about this internal compass that we all have. We all know what a compass does, right? A compass will naturally, if it's working, point north. It will allow us to ha ve a heading. It will under help us understand where we are in space and time, and give us clarity in the direction that we need to go. It's such an old tool literally, that has been used for ages, that it's interesting that even in all of the advancement of all of the things that we have, I know for myself, I will always just pull out my Compass app. I need to kind of redirect myself, especially if it's winter and I can never tell where the sun actually is in the sky. It's never right to me. But anyway, that's irrelevant.

So what I wanna talk to you today though, is about this idea of a subconscious compass. Or maybe we could call it the invisible compass. This is what you are operating with on a regular basis and you may not know that you are. And part of the reason I'm doing this detox is, I had this really silly experience a couple months ago where I took the mail app off my phone. And I didn't delete the mail, I just took it off my phone so I couldn't see it anymore.

Then what happened is I watched myself, how many times I picked up my phone to check mail and it wasn't there, right? I would go and I'd be like, "Oh, it's not there", and I was onto myself like, holy smokes. I don't even know. I think it was at least 30 times and it's such a trap, right? We don't even realize how automatic - we have these subconscious compass that takes us in directions where we end up, right?

The other day I wanted to post a video on social media on Instagram. I opened up my Instagram app and there was a story there that on e of my clients had posted, so I immediately got sucked into that, and then I completely forgot why I was there. And listen, I know there's some of you listening who are like, "Kris, get a life". And I know there's others of you listening who are like, "Yeah, me too". And I just don't wanna live on autopilot.

I was talking to my husband about this. He woke up really early the other morning, couldn't sleep, and he had a lot of paperwork to do. He's a pt, he's a physical therapist. He has his own practice. And so he was up early, like before 4:00 AM. He goes in and he does his paperwork. But he was saying that like, you know, here he is, it's 4:45 in the morning, and he realized he had spent 20 minutes on Instagram. He caught himself. He's like, "What am I doing? I didn't wake up early to sit on Instagram." Right?

But our brains are so - they're toddlers, if we don't pay attention. I just know for myself, this is that next level of discipline or - I hate that word, makes me think of my fifth grade teacher - but like, focus, clarity, commitment that says, I want to do what I want to do, not what I feel like doing in the moment.

And I know I have habits just as everybody else does that are quite appealing in the moment, but they're not really what I want to do. So what I want you to do for this podcast, this is a little work on your own exercise, is I want you to take out your handy dandy journal notes app on your phone, remarkable, whatever the tool is that you use, and I want you to write down the top 10 questions you ask yourself every day.

Now be honest with yourself, okay? One of mine will be what will we eat for dinner? Does anybody else wanna punch themselves in the face because of that question? If I don't ask it myself, somebody else is gonna ask me, what are we gonna have for dinner anyway? But the other questions often sound like, when will I ever catch up? Why is this so hard for me? How come I have to deal with this? How do I figure this out? When will I know the answer? Why is it me and not them? I'm just sort of shouting stuff off, but I want you to really write down all those questions. I want you to be honest with yourself.

And some people write things like, why do I look bad? Why does my body hurt? Why can't I lose weight? Why can't I call her? Call him? Why can't I have the conversation I need to have? Just get there, mama. Just let it all out, okay? Don't shield yourself from yourself. Just do it.

Then after you've written all those down, my recommendation is with this podcast, you just hit pause and then go do that before you listen to the whole thing. But if you can't, if you're in your car, don't stop or don't start writing in your car. Then what I want you to do is go back and answer the questions. So, If the question is, why can't I figure this out? The answer will be, "Because you're not as smart as other people", "Because you don't have the resources other people have", "Because you're just not meant for it."

Another question could be, why can't I tell my partner how I really feel? The answer might be, "Because if I do, he'll leave me". What is it that you ask yourself and then what are the answers that you provide? Because our brain will answer all of the questions we ask it.

Now, Tony Robbins talks about the primary question. It's a long time exercise that he's done, and it's quite powerful, and he says that we all have some primary, like very consistent, over and over repeated questions that we ask ourselves. And he says, the quality of those questions will determine, obviously, the quali ty of the answer and the answers that you provide to the questions that you ask yourself are your subconscious life and business plan. This is how you operate in the world, but more than likely, you are doing so subconsciously. You are believing things about yourself at a subconscious level. But it is an ongoing pulsing heartbeat of belief.

And so if you are asking yourself, why can't I figure out how to get my company to 10 million? And your answer is because you're never gonna be able to do it because people like you don't do things like that, because you don't know how to do X, Y, Z, because other people are just better at it, because you're just not lucky. Because whatever your answer is, that answer is a deep seated belief system.

It's a reveal to you. And how we unconsciously think about ourselves, regularly, is driving your life, your results, right? The truth is that if you don't have what you say you want, then you aren't telling yourself what you really want. You might even be telling yourself what you don't want, so the brain doesn't know that you don't want to think the thoughts that you think. The brain is just doing what it's always done. That's just what we do. And so the brain doesn't know any different.

So if you are all just over and over and over again, telling yourself, "I suck. I'm never gonna figure it out. This isn't what I'm destined to be. Nobody wants me to be successful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's too hard. I'm too this. They're gonna take my th is." Whatever it is that you are telling yourself on repeat, your brain believes it. And it will build an entire system around you to protect you from whatever the big, bad thing is, even if it's you.

What you're gonna be experiencing with me over the next many, many many is a truth that I want you to hear, which is that there is absolutely no tactic I can offer you to solve the challenges in your business and your life, unless you are willing to examine your own mind. Everything you want is on the others idea of your thoughts. And if you have lived up until this point, quite subconsciously, quite unintentionally, then what you have in your life, all of it, is the result of the decisions that you made from the deep seated thoughts you believe.

Now a lot of that could be great. So this is not all that everything's bad, so please don't misunderstand me. I can say for myself, I have a core belief that everything always will be okay and I have a life that has proven that true. I've had difficult moments, difficult years, but you know what? It really does come back together and I believe it. And so because that is a revealed element of my core subconscious belief system, I can see why I am always propelled forward.

What's the next best step? What's the next best step? Because I know it's gonna be okay. We just have to move a little bit. Yeah, don't sit here and wallow. So this isn't to say that all of the core beliefs and subconscious thinking that you have is negative, but it is to say that if you want to understand how to improve any part of your life, any part of the result, any result that you have anywhere in your life, relationship, health, business, you name it, you have to be willing to first agree that the core work is not up to someone else. It's not in someone else's program. It's not in someone else's five step formula. It's not in that next employee you're gonna hire. It's not in the $4 million you think you need. It's not in the house you're gonna buy. It's not in the partner you wish you had. It's not t here. It begins in your mind.

And what I love about that, is how much agency that gives me over myself that I don't have to wait for the rest of the world to be different so that I can feel better. That I don't have to wait for the rest of the world to be different so that I can choose to believe in a way of living that is different than the way that I have been. I find that liberating. What about you?

So I've spent years working in the field of leadership and management. I still do. I don't anticipate th at ever changing. But I want you to understand, and believe me when I tell you this, that the women that I have worked with for years, I have clients I've worked with for four years, three years, two years, they all make more money. They all have higher performing teams. They all feel a higher level of confidence, but it's not because I taught them how to write a job description. It is because they have been willing to learn more about who they are and becoming more of who they want to reveal in themselves on purpose. Everything that you want is worth working for. But it won't just be work that gets you there. It will be understanding and it will be connecting with your deep knowing. And I think there's a lot of people who might listen to this and be a litt le turned off. I don't know, maybe. I know when, years ago, when I used to lead workshops for leaders, I would always kind of start with the concept that you are where you are because of who you think you are.

And there was always a few people who sat in the back, you know, with their arms crossed. We have a high tendency in our culture for victim thinking, to want everyone else to be to blame for our circumstance. And while I don't ever wanna minimize the incredible atrocities that happen to humans, that is never my intention. Most of us, that's not our lives. Most of us have had some difficulty, most of us have had some challenges. But a lot of us believe that all of that is to blame for our current circumstance. And what I would like to invite you to believe is maybe up until this point, you've believed that, but you have the option now to believe that you can direct your future by getting out of a subconscious compass and getting into a conscious one.

So once you've written down your questions and you've answered them, then we can decide what we want to ask ourselves instead. So, years ago when I was still working, I knew I wanted to start a business and I went to a mastermind retreat and I asked the question, I said, "I just don't know how will I ever kn ow when it's time to quit my day job. It just feels like I'm never gonna figure it out. I'm never gonna know."

And then I was also super confused cuz I wanted to do retreats, but I also wanted to do leadership training. And I was very like, how do I make this decision? And all the questions I was asking myself were terrible. How will I ever know the answer? Which one should I choose? Which one is the right one?

All terrible questions because nothing felt right. So what I did is I thought about, "Okay, what are the words that I love?" And I just started brainstorming words through this exercise on a piece of paper, and I ended up with a question. And that question was, "What does the relentless pursuit of the work and life I love look like? What does relentless pursuit of the work and life I love look like?"

And I wrote that down and then I journaled the answer. This was in 2012, and I am living that answer. I am living that answer because I gave myself an intentional directed compass. And I'm very, very proud of that. But what I want to extend to you, my lovely listener, is that that is a possibility for all of us. We have to begin with ourselves. We can't wait for the world to change, to meet us, to show us, to prove, to us, to validate us.

So I hope you'll take this exercise and you'll work with your questions, and then you'll work on really, like, what is the one thing you could ask yourself every day that will perpetuate and draw out of you answers that feel amazing, that feel empowering, that feel directive, that feel clear, that feel aligned. Give yourself that gift today.

Thanks for tuning in. And don't forget, go over to thevisionary.ceo/moxi

Talk soon.

Hey, do you like this podcast type good news for you? I've started a subscription service over at, it's called The Moxi Sage. And what we're gonna do over there is an article a week. But if you become a paid subscriber, I'm gonna be sending you even more, more thoughts and a private podcast. And that private podcast is designed to be like your personal retreat, something that you can take on a walk or a long drive, or even in the morning with your cup of coffee or tea. And think about something kind of provocative or different to just challenge yourself, to express more about who you are into your own life.

So I'd love for you to join me. So head on over to thevisionary.ceo/moxi That's M O X Y. You can be a free subscriber. And if you want the podcast and the extra bits, I really would invite you to become a paid subscriber. I'm gonna be talking to friends, I'm gonna be having all sorts of interesting conversations over there. And I am so super duper excited. I hope you'll join me.